Funny Love Quotes

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

Ernest Hemingway

I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer - I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero. - Charlie Sheen

I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer - I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero.

They didn't give me any advice, and within that there's great advice. It was just love.

They didn't give me any advice, and within that there's great advice. It was just love.

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Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash. - Joyce Brothers

Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.

Marriage Spiritual Love

Love is not knowing what you're talking about.

Charles M. Schulz

Love is like jumping out of an airplane knowing that someone else has packed your chute. You pull the cord hoping that a canopy opens up, but it could very well be packed full of dirty laundry and a half eaten cheese sandwich.

Jared Turner

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.

Pearl Bailey

Love lasts about seven years. That's how long it takes for the cells of the body to totally replace themselves.

Love lasts about seven years. That's how long it takes for the cells of the body to totally replace themselves.

Francoise Sagan

The four most important words in any marriage, "I'll do the dishes." - Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage, "I'll do the dishes."

Love will find a way, indifference will find an excuse.

Love is a state of mind which has nothing to do with the mind.

A friend is like a push-up bra, supportive and close to the heart.

A friend is like a push-up bra, supportive and close to the heart.

Heart and Soul Top 100

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Groucho Marx

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.

A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.

Thomas Hardy

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.

Lily Tomlin

The bravest thing that men do is love women.

The bravest thing that men do is love women.

Mort Sahl

When a man of forty falls in love with a woman of twenty, it isn't her youth he is seeking but his own.

Lenore Coffee

Falling In Love

For you, I would even do math homework.

For you, I would even do math homework.

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