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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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Funny Quotes Marriage

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People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. - Erma Bombeck
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Erma Bombeck
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
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Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
Helen Rowland
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Women marry men hoping that the man will change. Men marry women hoping the woman will not change. Inevitably, they both end up disappointed. - Albert Einstein
Women marry men hoping that the man will change. Men marry women hoping the woman will not change. Inevitably, they both end up disappointed.
Albert Einstein
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Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein
Falling In LoveFunny QuotesTop 100
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Charles M. Schulz
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It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Friedrich Nietzsche
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Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Oprah Winfrey
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Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Henry Wheeler Shaw
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Henry Wheeler Shaw
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Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
Anonymous
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Woody Allen
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Do butterflies feel humans in their stomach when they're in love?
Anonymous
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Jack Benny
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Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin
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The best thing a parent can do for a child is to love his or her spouse. - Zig Ziglar
The best thing a parent can do for a child is to love his or her spouse.
Zig Ziglar
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
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I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
Charles M. Schulz
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I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer - I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero. - Charlie Sheen
I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer - I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero.
Charlie Sheen
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Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash. - Joyce Brothers
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
Joyce Brothers
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Married love between man and woman is bigger than oaths guarded by right of nature. - Aeschylus
Married love between man and woman is bigger than oaths guarded by right of nature.
Aeschylus
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Every year has brought us more love as a husband and wife, you are my heart's delight, and I can't wait to see what this year brings for us. - PureLoveQuotes.com
Every year has brought us more love as a husband and wife, you are my heart's delight, and I can't wait to see what this year brings for us.
Anonymous
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Love is like jumping out of an airplane knowing that someone else has packed your chute. You pull the cord hoping that a canopy opens up, but it could very well be packed full of dirty laundry and a half eaten cheese sandwich.
Jared Turner
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