1. Home
  2. Authors
  3. Erma Bombeck Quotes
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

More Quotes by Erma Bombeck
Funny Quotes Marriage

Similar Quotes

People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. - Erma Bombeck
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Erma Bombeck
Funny QuotesMarriage
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
Helen Rowland
Funny QuotesMarriage
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
Funny QuotesMarriage
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein
Falling In LoveFunny QuotesTop 100
Sponsored Links
You cannot love a car the way you love a horse. The horse brings out human feelings the way machines cannot do. - Albert Einstein
You cannot love a car the way you love a horse. The horse brings out human feelings the way machines cannot do.
Albert Einstein
Famous
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Charles M. Schulz
Funny QuotesTop 100
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Marriage
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Oprah Winfrey
FriendshipFunny Quotes
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Henry Wheeler Shaw
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Henry Wheeler Shaw
MarriageSpiritual Love
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
Anonymous
About LoveFunny QuotesLove Is
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Woody Allen
Funny Quotes
Do butterflies feel humans in their stomach when they're in love?
Anonymous
Funny Quotes
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Jack Benny
BeautifulFunny Quotes
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin
Funny QuotesSpiritual Love
The best thing a parent can do for a child is to love his or her spouse. - Zig Ziglar
The best thing a parent can do for a child is to love his or her spouse.
Zig Ziglar
Marriage
Sponsored Links
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
Funny Quotes
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
Charles M. Schulz
Funny Quotes
I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer - I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero. - Charlie Sheen
I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer - I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero.
Charlie Sheen
Funny QuotesMarriage
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash. - Joyce Brothers
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
Joyce Brothers
Funny QuotesMarriageSpiritual Love
Married love between man and woman is bigger than oaths guarded by right of nature. - Aeschylus
Married love between man and woman is bigger than oaths guarded by right of nature.
Aeschylus
InspirationalMarriage
Every year has brought us more love as a husband and wife, you are my heart's delight, and I can't wait to see what this year brings for us. - PureLoveQuotes.com
Every year has brought us more love as a husband and wife, you are my heart's delight, and I can't wait to see what this year brings for us.
Anonymous
For HimHeart and SoulMarriage
Love is like jumping out of an airplane knowing that someone else has packed your chute. You pull the cord hoping that a canopy opens up, but it could very well be packed full of dirty laundry and a half eaten cheese sandwich.
Jared Turner
Funny Quotes

Love Quote Categories

Popular Authors

All Authors Mother Teresa Rabindranath Tagore Albert Einstein Plato Honoré de Balzac Anonymous

Search our Site